Health- gutter
I am pretty sure that if I were to be visiting a Doctor today they would instantly decide that my mood (depressed) was the sole cause of my Gastroparesis (as they are wont to do).
Here is how it goes...
They (the Doctors) will come in and do a quick exam or not then ask you about your symptoms and possibly discuss tests... then the gleam enters their eye and they ask the question that will make everything your fault no matter how you answer-
"How are you doing emotionally? Are you depressed?"
This is a loaded question because there is no answer that will not have them turning it on you and making the fact that you are sick your fault.
If you answer correctly with-
"Yes, I am depressed... I have an incurable illness that makes my life a living hell" then your Gastroparesis is caused by you because it is a 'known fact' (though I have yet to find a single study that proves this in medical archives) that depression causes delayed gastric emptying and hence it is all in your head and what you really need is mental help from a Psychiatrist and not a Gastroenterologist.
If you do not want to be told it is all in your head so you outright lie with-
"No, I am managing fine" then they assume that you are enjoying the attention you are getting for being 'ill' and are probably faking, and you need mental help from a Psychiatrist and not a Gastroenterologist.
If you try to sidestep with-
"I am no better and no worse than anyone else going through what I am" they then push you to give a more straight answer because obviously you are depressed or stressed which makes it all in your head or you are handling things fine which means that you are faking and need mental help.
Don't even try to turn the question on them with-
"How would you feel in my position" because they would assure you that if they were in your position they would be living an active life full of world travel and bringing peace to regions that have never known peace while gnawing on volcanic rock for nutrition and drinking ambrosia.
I would love to see them try to pull the same reasoning with anyone else who has a form of nerve damage!
Will they tell people who are paralyzed from the waist down that all they have to do is talk to a Psychiatrist and they would not only walk again but would run marathons?
Will they tell people with MS and ALS that their depression over having the conditions has actually caused the conditions and they need to get over it to be cured?
I cannot think of another condition where the victims are blamed so much by the Doctors for having it except for alcoholics and liver disease, smokers for lung cancer and the morbidly obese for diabetes!
We DID not do this to ourselves... we did not do dangerous activities to get this condition... there is no warning label on a virus that reads "Warning- catching this might cause you to never be able to eat another meal in your life without pain and nausea and could cause you to starve to death", no campaigns on TV or groups of outraged citizens banding together to stop the wanton destruction of nerve conductivity!
We are the VICTIMS yet we are treated like we have brought it on ourselves!
We are given 'the look' when we decline foods that we love because we know it would make us sick by friends and family...
We are blamed by Doctors, being told that because we have the condition and are depressed at the major impacts it has on our lives we are in fact causing the very condition that caused us to get depressed!
There is a huge amount of stress and guilt placed on US because WE are being difficult... we refuse to simply fade away without a whimper... we refuse to eat things that make us sick just to avoid hurting the feelings of others... we refuse to suffer in silence all the time.
Yes, I am depressed!
Three days ago I was speaking to my husband about how much I loved and missed chocolate but could not have it anymore because it caused my GERD to act up severely and I would wake in the middle of the night choking on the contents of my stomach. I cannot vomit (I lost the ability to do that no matter how much I wish I could at times) but food can still crawl up my throat if I bend over or lay down.
Today he had to run an errand and decided to stop at a dollar store and get me a 'treat', to be nice and because I have been so down lately. He brought me a huge bag of all kinds of goodies... Hershey Bars, Milky Way Bars, chocolate snack cakes... then was offended and defensive when I was hurt by it. He then lectured me that I never said I could not have chocolate and insisted that when I said it, it was for that day only and he was only trying to be nice.
So, I am the bad guy and get the guilt trip because he did not listen to what I was saying (he still insists I am wrong) and in the house are chocolate temptations that I would nibble on in a heartbeat but can't because I do not want to choke in my sleep.... but oh, how I want some. I think what he did was cruel... he thinks that I am being unreasonable and not understanding HIS feelings.
Why the heck would someone be depressed?
Just because you cannot eat food? Just because you cannot drink enough fluids to keep your kidneys functioning? Just because you are in constant high levels of pain and can't even take a baby aspirin for it? Just because you open up and talk about your losses and someone brings you and presents you with just what you crave the most and you can't touch it?
I need an attitude adjustment...
No comments:
Post a Comment