Monday, October 31, 2011

Mood- bad

Health-bad

Bad day back to bed

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Mood- still down

Health- broken record that never ends

Same life different day... same bed, and going back to it again.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Mood- still down

Health- still the same

The past month has been a completely lost one for me, spent in a daze and a haze and can only hope that next month some of my energy returns or at least I adjust and can try to claw back to my life.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Mood- down
Health- down as a result

Having a relationship that is in a very bad place at the moment is making my health take a dip downward taking away all of the progress I have been slowly gaining to get back on some sort of even keel... sighs.  Can't think straight so going back to bed.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Mood- done
Health- same

Finding out that ones husband has been hiding letters from the IRS from you since April when you can barely think enough to breathe can take the last gasp of breath from you... especially when you find out that had anything been done in April the problem would have been resolved but because the letters were read then ignored you have a huge bill in your name you knew nothing about and the only response you get is "I read the letters and forgot".  

This is the life I am fighting for???

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Mood- down
Health- down

Seems like a broken record...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mood- down
Health- same


I don't know why I am even bothering to post every day when nothing ever changes

Monday, October 24, 2011

Mood- depressed
Health- still rotten

Invisible illnesses are so cruel... I was starting to get a life, albeit an online one, but my health has decided to even take that from me.

I cannot concentrate to follow the posts of my friends on FaceBook... and my isolation is growing by the day.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Mood- asleep

Health- asleep

Still there

Saturday, October 22, 1022

Mood- asleep

Health- dormant

Still sleeping my life away it seems...

Friday, October 21, 2011

Mood- asleep
Health- exhausted


A little better than yesterday, but still exhausted... but any improvement is an improvement.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Mood- drained
Health- still drained

Just not getting a handle on things... sighs... is just so tired.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Mood- tired
Health- tired of it all

Once again slept all day after dealing with my unethical cell phone service this morning anc about to go back to bed... the only bright spot is being able to turn my head more easily without screaming today.

Tuesday, October 18. 2011

Mood- pissed

Health- rough

Well, thanks to my useless cell phone company I missed my first blog post ever and have failed to keep my commitment to do a daily blog on time!

N-Telos decided to take my air card off my cell plan... without telling me... and put it on it's own account... without telling me.... and disconnected it for non-payment!!!

Got that fixed... (at an expense I cannot afford) and getting yesterday's blog in today... sighs.

I do not feel good enough to deal with this...

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mood- tired
Health- tired


Seems like it is my month to sleep

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mood- down
Health- down

Still has zero energy and ability to concentrate... probably going to have to give in and go the the ER soon because this just can't go on.

For now it is back to bed.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Mood- cranky
Health- still bad

Still cannot kick this headache and stiff neck, and not the glands in my neck hurt like the devil as well... going back to sleep.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Mood- asleep
Health- hovering

I just cannot get out of this slump... all I want to do is sleep and everything else just takes too much energy.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Mood- down and slightly scared
Health- nosedive

I was 'fine' when I woke up today (fine as in, feeling tired and weak and drained and sick but nothing 'new') and after feeding Loki and settling back in bed I was suddenly hit with instantly one of the worst stiff necks of my life.  

One second moving with ease and the next unable to even raise my hand without screaming from the pain in my neck... sigh.

It was not that I moved a strange way when it hit... I was sitting still... it is not from sleeping in a strange position because I was fine until that moment.

It was all I could do to pull out my laptop tonight and do an entry, every move of my fingers is a stab of pain in my neck.

This is the 'joy' of living with an invisible illness... because even though I am considering a trip to the ER because these are some scary symptoms I have a greater fear that I will simply be told it is all in my head or associated with my condition and sent home.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Mood- blah
Health- blah

There in only one reason that I logged on, once again... and that is to keep my commitment to make an entry daily.

My health is just not improving at all... and I am going back to bed.

Tuesday, October 11. 2011

Mood- asleep
Health- asleep


Yet another day sleeping... hopes to get energy back one day.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Mood- asleep

Health- snoring

Has done nothing but sleep today... thinks I will continue the trend...

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Mood- down down down
Health- gutter

My stomach has gone on complete strike... tried to drink some coffee (usually helps a little to perk it up a little) and is sitting here with coffee in my throat... I can actually feel it sitting there hot and acidic and I am afraid to even bend over because I know it will pour back into my mouth.

I hate this disease!

Add to this that my period has decided not to show up... no, I am not pregnant... but my ovarian cyst has been extremely painful for about 6 weeks now and it takes so little to cause very sharp pains in that area.  Something as simple as a deep breath will make me yelp in pain.  I am wondering if it has had another growth spurt and is adding to the emptying delay...

Who knows... because I have no access to a Dr to have anything checked out.

Going to an ER would be a complete waste of time... they would make sure I am not going to drop dead on the property and release me telling me to follow up with a Dr, which I can't do.

What I would not give to be knocked out for just a day or two and let my body rest...

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Mood- down
Health- down as well

I am getting so tired of being sick and tired all the time... sighs.

I rarely have the energy these days to even think of something to type about on this blog let alone remember it to actually type it out.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Mood- stagnant
Health- stagnant

The broken record of my life goes on... pain, sick, tired, brain fog and confusion abound.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mood- drifting
Health- ????

Still no energy for thinking... stomach a royal mess, fevers all the time, abdomen distended and painful...

Hopes to have more to write soon.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Mood- down
Health- down as well

Well, another day another short boring blog post about being in bed all day... a whole year of this is going to be very boring.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Mood- snarly
Health- gross

Well, I found out why they could not tell me at VCU when my EGD (upper endoscope) and small bowel follow through were scheduled and that would be because the dang things were scheduled for September 6 and no one ever bothered to tell me so I missed them!!!

This is just another "mistake" that has happened at VCU concerning things (past mistakes- them canceling an appointment and never telling me meaning a 180 mile round trip for nothing, them losing my only copy of my gastric emptying scan after promising to return it to me for over three months and never even loading it to the system as they said they would, putting a medication on my medical file that I have never taken that could have had serious repercussions if I ever passed out in their presence with my heart condition, rescheduling appointments and never bothering to call me to tell me <so I would have made another 180 mile round trip for no reason> and the new one, scheduling some important tests and despite my repeated calls NEVER TELLING ME when they were until A MONTH AFTER they were to be done!!!!!) which all means that even thought I desperately need medical treatment and the only option I have available to me due to my lack of insurance is VCU Health Systems I have two choices.

Stop going there and get no treatment at all...

Try to keep going and wait until one of their mistakes finally KILLS me...

An isolated mistake I can understand... but considering that they have actually made more mistakes <scheduling, notifications, medicine reporting errors, etc) than I have actually been there is more than just unacceptable! 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mood- drained
Health- drained


Still not having much luck with energy or health... in a serious slump.

Sorry this is so boring lately, but I hope to pull out of this soon and have something better to write at that time.

For now it is back to laying down.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Mood- zombie
Health- living dead

Still zero energy and the pain in my abdomen is just getting more and more bothersome and centering on the sides of my abdomen in the middle and lower abdomen and I have noticed that I am increasingly distended (bloated).

Since there is really nothing going on there is nothing to type about other than the same old same old... not an exciting life to share when it is spent in bed.

I can say that getting up to go to the restroom has become more exciting because no trip is made without at least one fall and I often do not even know I am falling until I am halfway down and there is nothing I can do to try to stop it.

Saturday, October1, 2011

Mood- sleeping
Health- zombie


A short blog today... I am just too tired to do much more than that.

Been doing nothing but sleeping off and on today, sleeping when the pain lets me and staring at the tv when it doesn't.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a more exciting day.