Health- bad due to stress
Today has definitely been a challenge and getting the energy and will up to blog is a major victory... life is just not supposed to be this hard.
We are going to the Salvation Army tomorrow to try to get help for our suffocating bills then the local Food Banks on Friday and my husband needed to get a copy of his unemployment determination letter for the Salvation Army to prove our income level... and he found out that though his unemployment would not 'end' until the end of August the last check will come the last week of July. He can apply for an extension in September... but that means that even though we have no money, bills are all way behind and we are drowning we will have even less money soon... yet the bills will keep rolling in.
This is all very stressful and though I am trying hard to hold on I think it would be better if I allowed myself to lose it because the stress is going to kill me. My heart rate is all over the place... bounding then gone then weak then strong, erratic and just all over the place. The batteries died in my blood pressure monitor, so I have no clue what my BP is, but if the ringing in my ears and thunderclap headaches are any indication it is being extremely labile... zooming up and down just as much as my heart rate. My pulse/oxometer shows me my pulse and the strength of it... but not the pressure... but as long as it keeps beating I am good!
I am NOT the only one going through this situation... many friends of mine are in the same boat... not only must we worry about bills, keeping a roof over our heads, food for our families but we must also worry about our health because we have no insurance and cannot afford to go to the Hospital.
Looking at unemployment in the face is bad enough... but add to this an incurable chronic illness and you have a recipe for disaster... then add to the mix the knowledge that if our spouses do get employment we will be uninsurable until January 2014 when the Affordable Care Act will force Insurance companies to offer us coverage.
When I hear people use the term "Obamacare" and scream to have it repealed I take it personally... because while it will not affect them at all it can be the difference between life and death to me and millions like me... they are not attacking a healthcare bill... they are attacking my only chance to get quality healthcare! They are saying that they do not want to have to wait a few extra days to see their Doctor (yes, I have been told this to my face) just so some 'drain on society' can see their Doctor! In other words... my life is not as important as a few days inconvenience. How could I not take that personally? How can the millions in my position not take that personally?
States are cutting Medicare and Medicaid, removing services to balance their budgets, so those on disability and unable to work are also being left out in the cold with less and less availability to get the care they need...
I hope and pray that those reading this are not in that situation... and hope that you never get in this situation, because I would not wish this on my worst enemy. You have no clue just how lucky you are if you have good health... none at all.
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