Health- not going there
Today started out rough... those poor saplings are still languishing awaiting either the fate of becoming trees or mulch... I feel like I might have committed herbicide!
I was feeling very low... the money issues are pressing down like a lead pillow on my chest and the lack of medical care is really taking a toll... then I picked up the phone and called a friend.
This is a person that I had only spoken to on the phone with once before... and the strange thing is that even during that call it was like we already knew each other and talked for hours. Today was no different... we just talked and talked and as the minutes ticked by it came to me that the darkness was lifting.
She also suffers from Gastroparesis... and we came to the conclusion that the reason we felt so comfortable in talking to each other and felt like we have known each other our whole lives is because we can actually "see" each other! We are not invisible to each other... there are no awkward pauses or tense moments, no scrambling in the dark for a topic.
Knowing that you are not alone and having people that can understand what you face on a daily basis is the most powerful thing in the world. We can try to explain what it is, try to put it in terms that those who do not have our condition can understand, but unless you live it you can never understand it. It is like the difference between memorizing the recipe for a cake and actually making and eating one. You might fully understand everything that is in it, you might know the calories, nutritional values, color and could tell others about it and even teach them the recipe, but until you actually make it and taste it you can never know what cake really is.
That, I realized, is the biggest hurdle to raising Awareness... we are seen as our condition and have lost our humanity. When we talk to others to raise Awareness we talk about the recipe... the components... but it is something that someone who has never been there can make a connection with. People can connect with others who have the same feelings, so maybe we need to show that we also have hopes, dreams, fears and joy... connect as humans and then... maybe... there will be enough there to have others care, and once they care we can share.
This little experiment I am doing with this blog is harder than I thought... having to pull out my laptop every day is hard and I have to fight and force myself to do it because I believe in my heart that it can make a difference...
I can raise my hand and call out into the dark "I am here"... and maybe someone out there will hear me.
No comments:
Post a Comment