Health- icky
Every time I think my husband fully gets what is going on with me health-wise he does or says something that lets me know that he really does not get it... sigh
One of our biggest battles... the most common reason for fights is "What do you want for dinner?"
Honestly? He wants me to choose?
Fine, I choose nothing... yet when I say that he storms off in a huff.
I never have an appetite... and though I crave things I miss everything I eat makes me ill so the truth is I do not "want" anything! I have said this over and over again but he just does not get it.
His reply is always "well, what would make your stomach less sick?"
That is like asking someone "which would you prefer? to be shot or stabbed? You have to choose one, so hurry up and choose!" when you don't want either.
It happens almost every day... over and over...
"What do you want for dinner?" him
"I don't care, you choose." me
"No, you choose, I can eat anything and it needs to be something that settles on your stomach." him
"Nothing settles on my stomach!" me
"Well, think about it, choose something that will sit better than others." him
Five minutes pass...
"Have you chosen?" him
"No..." me
"Fine, I will choose... McDonalds!" him
"I can't eat McDonalds..." me
"See, I choose and you say you can't eat it..." stomps off
"Find yourself something to eat..." me
"I am not getting something to eat if you don't" him
GUILT TRIP
"Fine then, McDonalds..." me
"What do you want?" him
"I don't know, I am trying to think of what I can have from there" me
"Then why did you choose it?" him
"Because you did" me
"Well, make up your mind, I am getting a headache and need to eat..." him, stomping off again
"Just fix yourself something to eat..." me calling out
"PICK SOMETHING!" him from another room
"Forget it, I am not hungry and don't want to eat" me
Silence... I am now the 'bad guy' because I could not choose what to eat so now he will not eat and it is all my fault.
Then-
"what are you doing?" him
"blogging" me
"Have you decided yet?" him
"I am blogging and need to concentrate" me
"Fine!... All I did was ask what you wanted to eat... so sorry I bothered you... you could choose, you know... it is a lot easier for you... you know what sits well on your stomach.... any time I choose you say 'no' so you choose... why does this have to be such a hassle....." him
"trying to concentrate here" me
"well excuuuse me" he stomps off again
If my hair was not already falling out due to malnutrition I would be pulling it out nightly because this is almost a daily occurrence.
His favorite time to come ask me anything is when I am working on my blog... and though I have explained to him that it is hard for me to concentrate and when he sees me working on it I need to be left alone he will have a million questions to ask... or have to come in and play with Loki (my service dog) who gets defensive because he knows that I am not feeling well and am getting frustrated so he starts snarling, which my husband ignores... pushing the dog again and again. I then have to stop blogging, tell him to leave the dog alone... then he gets defensive and tells me that he is just playing with the dog and ignores me... and the growling and bouncing around on the bed continues until I have to flat out tell him to leave the dog alone and get out while pointing at the door... and get the "fine... excuuuuse me" bit again... sigh. My concentration is shot and I often have to erase my blog and start all over again.
Just having a very frustrating day... tired of feeling rotten all the time, tired of being the 'bad guy' because I am tired and can't think straight half the time and can't decide what to eat when in truth I do not want to eat and he will not eat unless I do so it is my fault that he gets a headache...
I am just tired...
My ex never "got it" either. These fights sound very familiar. Men are narcissistic pigs.
ReplyDelete