Health- same
Today is today, yesterday is yesterday and tomorrow is tomorrow... then why do they all seem to be exactly the same?
It is a constant battle against dehydration, nausea and pain and sometimes we just want to give up and give in.
"Wouldn't it just be easier to stop fighting?" is something I have heard and read so many times as people grow weary of the fight. They want just day, just an hour when they can breath and feel 'normal' again. They want to be able to hop out of bed and go to work, they want to sit down to a dinner table and enjoy the scents as steam rises off dishes heaped with vegetables and meats and know that they can eat and enjoy a full mean... they want to enjoy life.
Another thing that many hear over and over is "you are so strong! With all you go through you have a positive attitude, I don't think I could do that!"
What choice do we really have? This is our life, the only one we get and we were dealt some pretty rotten cards and have to play the hand we were dealt. We could wallow in self pity, but that would be a very limited life and very lonely because no one wants to be around someone that is always crying out 'why me?'.
We find ways to enjoy simple pleasures that most take for granted... forced to take a slower pace of life we can become enraptured in the petals of a flower, how it is powdery and soft, the veining strong enough to resist the wind and delicate enough to bruise at a touch. How a petal removed from the bloom can mean someone loves us, or not.
We enjoy the small pleasures we are given to the full extent because we know what a blessing they really are.
We share our friends triumphs and at times live vicariously through others as they talk about their vacations and days of adventure, picturing in our minds what it must have been like and stirring old memories to life that we can savor like a fine wine.
Yes, we have our 'down days', those dark days when memories are not enough and we cry out about our losses but we also tend to make ourselves bounce back because if we do not fight for ourselves then no one else will... but the magic of having a chronic illness is in finding others that share your illness that will hold us up when we are weak knowing that we will do the same for them.
We fight because we have to fight, we have no choice.
We cry because the tears have to come out so we can wash our world clear once more and fight again.
We share what we are going through not only so others can learn about our conditions and help spread awareness but also so that they can see just how lucky they are and maybe learn to slow down for a moment and enjoy a simple pleasure to it's fullest.
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