Health- iffy
Having a rough patch... not an increase of nausea (that is a constant companion) or pain... but the malnutrition, multiple deficiencies and dwindling energy are really getting to me lately.
Dehydration is probably in the equation as well (just not hitting my daily goal of 20 ounces a day), but I do not think it is the forerunner in this race of my body to drive me insane.
I am extremely short tempered lately... and how I am feeling is no excuse, but I cannot concentrate at all or follow things I see, hear or read and the loud ringing in my ears makes hearing things even harder. I belong to a large support group on facebook (sponsored by http://www.g-pact.org) and I can't even contribute any suggestions or help lately because I just can't follow what I am reading, and that is depressing. I love being part of that Group, they have become my family and I feel like I am failing my family when I can't contribute anything useful. I will see a post and want to say something, I know I know something that could help (where to find information) but for the life of me I can't remember what it is, or where it can be found. *sigh*
A big part of living with an incurable chronic illness is learning to control things you can control and accepting things you can't, but I am struggling hard to accept not being able to think clearly and hope this will pass.
Distractions of any kind when I am trying to do something or get something accomplished will send me through the roof without notice, especially since my spouse knows that I already have short term memory issues and have explained many times over the past several days that I am having a hard time concentrating and if I am doing something to please not interrupt me. He forgets, or comes in to tell me a show is coming on TV or wants to ask me something and I erupt like a volcano because whatever I am or was doing is now lost and I will have a hard time trying to get back on task or will have to give up completely on whatever I was doing because it is just 'gone'.
Living with someone with a chronic illness must be very hard, especially an illness that impacts so many levels of our lives... it changes on a daily basis if not hourly and those around us have no idea what is going on at any given time. Something that bothered us yesterday might not today but might tomorrow... something we were 'up to eating' a week ago might make us turn and run today. It must be like living with a cobra... it might not bite you today, it might not bite you tomorrow, but you know that you are going to get bit.... the question is just when and how hard.
Once again I want to state that I am not looking for pity... I am just stating how things are today... this one day of living with an invisible illness.
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