Health- same
Want to know the bad part about being in a health slump... a flare, if you will, when your reserves are already low? Everything you do to try to restore your reserves is countered by the very thing you are trying to defeat.
My dehydration is starting to affect my kidneys... I know this because they ache, a very unique pain that once you feel it you never forget because it is so unlike any pain you have ever had. (Picture a headache in your lower back on the sides) So, I have been battling to get more and more fluids in to help my kidneys, which increases my stomach pain and nausea, which makes me unable to drink as much.
I am showing increasing signs of magnesium, calcium and zinc deficiencies (part of malnutrition) which causes the memory issues, exhaustion, nausea, brain fog, concentration issues, lack of appetite, metallic taste in mouth and heart rate/pulse irregularities. The affects of the deficiencies makes trying to reverse them hard, especially since I cannot take vitamins or supplements and must get these through nutrition drinks... and since liquids are hard for me to get in... it just gets worse and worse.
Add to this bouts of Dumping Syndrome every single day which for me means diarrhea which depletes even more electrolytes and fluids and I am on a swift spiral to dangerous grounds and I am trying desperately to hold out just a few more days... if I can hold out for just a few more days I can maybe get myself better on my own and if not I will push back on paying another bill and do the 180 mile round trip to the hospital and hope the ER Docs will help me.
This is the life of someone with an incurable invisible illness... bargaining with fate and hoping that they can put off expensive medical intervention because rushed Doctors in the ER who are juggling patients often make case judgements on the fly... you do not look ill and their job is to put a patch on an issue and make sure you will not die that day. It is not that they do not think you are not ill... it is that they just have to make sure you are not going to die then and there, and if you aren't then you are in the wrong place. We know this... we accept this, but there are times that we go in seeking help because we cannot do it at home... we have tried and we need help and can only hope that the invisible is seen by a trained eye and help is given.
I hope I can make it a few more days... my Mother in Law gave me a belated Birthday gift... 3 packs of Pediasure and I am hoping that they can make me turn the corner. I am hoping that I have not passed the tipping point where I can't do it alone.
I am not alone in this... mine is just one voice whispering in the dark... invisible. If you... if society... could 'see' us they would be deafened by the volume of the whispers from the millions who want to be 'seen'.
No comments:
Post a Comment